rollercoaster....of love

hey. i've gone and done it again.

so once again i let my head get the best of me. i was gonna join a sorority. cos it looks like a ton of fun. so i threw out all former plans, and decided i was goin greek. cool dude.

then. i thought. and thought and thought and thought and thought. what the fuck was i thinking? i cant afford that. i dont know if i could handle that with the work load. i dont even know if i would have liked it. it sounds so enticing, and when you go to the meetings its like wow, i could really belong here.

but honestly. i need a good job before i can start spending a thousand dollars more every year. i can barely afford tuition let alone living and breathing sisterhood.

dont get me wrong. im not trying to bash the greeks. i think it would be amazing. i just hate when i get so caught up in things and dont think them through. and now im sad im not doing it.

i wish i could just hop in and meet some new people and find friends for life and love it to death. cos i think some of my friends will love it to death, and i will be left in the dust.

ugh. my mind goes absolutely insane some days.

i just want a job. that actually pays me money. like. lots of it. that would be nice.

ill focus on that for now.