tad bit sad.

so. my whole floor is at moxie. my new favorite place.

and i didnt even know they were going.

idk if i even have the right to, but im feelin a tad bit sad.

i thought i was breakin in.... and i feel like i have totally reversed again.

uuugh. i love it here so much. and it would be that much more awesome if i could just be totally natural around them and get along like everyone else does. but idk how they do it. i cant just be that girl who can walk into a room and go hey. whats goin on?

sorry. i cant.

i wish i could.

chloe could...

love.

i love nightclubs. even when creep ass 20 year old white boys grind on me. cos i gots my mittens to save me.

i love running around downtown feeling like a hooker cos im overdressed. its kinda fun in its own way.

i love bein a rock star. with my rock moves. and i dont need you.

i love being tired out of my mind.

i love the chase. a little. ok not that much but ill do it.

i love my brother.

i love katie.

i love you.

i love him.

shit.

cos i m pretty sure he dont love me.

good.

last minute road trips to western are the best.

especially when you listen to queen and nsync on the way.

also. sleeping through your first class on purpose has its own sort of gratification.

oh life.

ohh life. how boring you are most of the time.

im lovin it, dont worry. im just really bored in between the times im having tons o fun. and i mean tons. yes.

if anyone hasn't checked it out, everyone should check out katie l's rules to live by. umm. they are totally true. and how i now live. its the only way dude.

lets find some fun now shall we??

mip-ed

dude. my hallways is ridiculous. for serious.

drunk people. running up and down. screaming about how drunk they are.

three cops.
+
two drunk girls. hiding in a shower.
=
two mips.

ohhh dang.

and for me? bonding time with my floormates gossiping about what the hell just happened.

i rain on your parade

look at me go. im meeting new people, doing my homework, tired as a dog, and being a bitch.

i really am a bitch a lot of the time. i dont mean to. but when i get a little agitated, i get bitchy. i dont mean to. it just pops out. im so ungreatful. these are the friends that i love. hopefully they love me back. if they can ignore my craziness.

i just want the best for them. and sometimes i take it out on the opposition. but in doing that, i hurt the one im trying to protect. im not trying to be difficult and segregated, its just....

idk. you all deserve the best.

and sometimes i way overanalize my actions. do people take offense? do people not hear them? i cant tell, and it drives me insane a lot of the time.

ugh.

i better not be getting sick.

rollercoaster....of love

hey. i've gone and done it again.

so once again i let my head get the best of me. i was gonna join a sorority. cos it looks like a ton of fun. so i threw out all former plans, and decided i was goin greek. cool dude.

then. i thought. and thought and thought and thought and thought. what the fuck was i thinking? i cant afford that. i dont know if i could handle that with the work load. i dont even know if i would have liked it. it sounds so enticing, and when you go to the meetings its like wow, i could really belong here.

but honestly. i need a good job before i can start spending a thousand dollars more every year. i can barely afford tuition let alone living and breathing sisterhood.

dont get me wrong. im not trying to bash the greeks. i think it would be amazing. i just hate when i get so caught up in things and dont think them through. and now im sad im not doing it.

i wish i could just hop in and meet some new people and find friends for life and love it to death. cos i think some of my friends will love it to death, and i will be left in the dust.

ugh. my mind goes absolutely insane some days.

i just want a job. that actually pays me money. like. lots of it. that would be nice.

ill focus on that for now.

crap

sleep is starting to catch up with me.
its yelling at me cos i used to sleep 8+ hours. now i sleep 6- hours.
not working.

i dont like classes anymore. they are just as boring as high school.

crap.

odd

this weekend was pretty boring. it was weird being in my house. i loved it, but i felt something was missing. i was so bored that i wanted to be back on campus, but then i know if i was back, i would have been bored too cos hardley any one was left.
oh well. good weekend. missed my parents and my dog and cat. bed wasnt comfortable oddly enough. but ya know. i survived.

met some pretty cool people this past weekend. like before and after i left. went to some apartment parties. kinda odd. its weird to just walk around to parties and not worry about the security gaurds. unsuprisingly, i was worried, so i didnt actually party, so i didnt actually get teh full experience, but im gettin there gosh darnit. im gettin there. but i need to actually feel comfortable to actually drink, and that is gonna take a while.

but really, i love college. i wish there was no reading tho. political science text books are a bitch.

ohhh! i got a new phone and texting. yay for liz. shes in the 21st century now. hooray.