shitless

god im scared.

why.

what if its awkward? (it will be)
what if they dont like me? (gah.)
what if nothing changes at all? (would be worse than it going bad)


pleeeeeeeeeeeease work out.

worried.

right now i am very happy.

very.

like. this is what i've been hoping would happen for like 2 months.

but if it ends again....damn. its gonna suck.


but i think it is gonna happen for real. i truely do.

one can only hope

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved


You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

looking up

so i've been feeling better lately.

im still lonely alot. but not only am i getting more used to that, but its getting less lonely.

i'm embracing my roomates friends. i like them. they arent cool or discrete. they are loud. they snort. they are not who i would normally hang out with. but they are nice.
they are company.
they are frineds.

and i love my building. even tho i am still on the outside.

and this housing thing is now more of an adventure than a nuisence.
im gonna figure it out. ill live out with people i dont know. or ill stay at home and enjoy that too. maybe if i stay home ill study abroad.

being home was actually really nice. i am so comfortable with my parents. i could sit and watch survivor all night with them. and not get bored. it only gets bad when mom gets in a cleaning mode. but that doesnt even phase me when im gone so much. it was so nice to revert back to high school for five days.

we'll test that statement out during christmas break tho. i may be eating my text.

but all in all life is good.

school is stressin me out tho.
too much to do.
too much procrastinating.
too much dance.

and i start work on saturday. :/
i hate being the new person and training. oh well. there will be four others with me so its all good.

after this week, i could just be invincible.



if only i didnt pull that muscle in my butt/back. then i could be invincible and walk normally instead of invincible and hobbling around like an old maid.

:)