i feel like i am constantly making plans that fall through. im really tired of it.

i think i have been desensitized. (is that the right word? haha)
i am not phased by things anymore. im like... oh. wow. that happened.

which is a good thing i think. i was too emotional for a while. now watch something huge happen and im gonna go on an emotional nose dive again.

oh well.

im happy. im busy. i wish i had more time to just do stuff but i gotta work.

cos im going to london in the summer and im going to move out in august. i am making these things happen no matter what.

:) life is good if you choose its good.

i was super sad today. not having a good day at all.

then i danced. :) then i found out he asked if i was gonna be there. (which means he wants me. oh yes he does.) and i am feeling ohhhh so much better.

state and canada this weekend. god lets just skip to thursday already.

artprize wednesday too. life is goooooood. :)

i am getting so busy.

and i like it a lot.
i think i need to stop looking.... and just start living. stop being concerned and sad and just go.

which is what i am starting to do.

i just wish i didnt have to work....

oh well. i will do me.

im over him. cos i KNOW he is wrong for me and a douche bag. but wow. i didnt even see him, just his friends, and i nearly fainted. (after they were gone of course) it amazes me how much someone can affect me.

and i wish i didnt associate him with my music. cos a lot of music i really like i find myself not able to listen to. and also he gave me half of my music library. for example: the new frontiers. and f.u.n. and lydia. DAMN YOU RYAN. i want to listen to that music. it is so good. but it makes me sad. i am giong to go to a f.u.n. concert though. make new memories. BAM. fixed.

god i hate this process.

i've got a feeling.... and i think its a good one. :)


im hopeful. and wishing. and in a good mood. :) such a good feeling compared to the shit i have felt like lately.

doucheeeee bagggggggg.

really? wow.